A Small Problem
by breaker-one
Summary: Irvine helps Quistis with a small rat problem...chaos ensues. (IrvineQuistis)
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Final Fantasy VIII. The only thing I own is the plot line for this story.  
  
Author's Note: I originally wrote this as a present for my cousin since she's a huge Irvine x Quistis fan (I'm more of a Seifer X Quistis girl myself.). Anyway, I started writing it, not knowing how it was going to turn out, and I was quite pleased with the finished result. This is only the first part of course. The second part will be up soon.  
  
Rating: PG-13 for mild language and sexual innuendo.  
  
She didn't know where the rodent came from, but that didn't matter. What mattered now was that the thing was scampering about her room, and they had to get rid of it. Quistis stood on her bed, slightly panicked, and looking around the floor for it, while Irvine tried to coax the rat out from under her bed.  
  
Somehow, this had to be Irvine's fault. The whole thing started when he came to her dorm room.  
  
Quistis had been in her room all day trying to form a letter to the Garden administration as to why they should allow her to get her Instructor's license back. What started out as a letter, soon evolved into an essay, which Quistis found herself writing. She'd unknowingly skipped breakfast and lunch and would probably miss dinner soon too, but she didn't seem to notice. All of her attention had to go into this letter/essay. She couldn't be bothered right now, which is why she ignored the knock on her dorm room door. The caller must have thought of her silence as an invitation, because he sauntered right in and flopped lazily on her bed.  
  
"Man, what a day. Like, who knew SeeD trainin' was gonna be so hard," Irvine said, tipping his hat over his eyes. Quistis ignored him further (hoping that he'd go away) and re-read the last paragraph she'd typed. Irvine either didn't notice or didn't care (probably the latter) and he turned over to face her, his hat falling off his head, while he spoke again, "I could really use a good full body massage ta, ya know, get all relaxed again. I ache all over."  
  
Quistis sighed heavily, realizing that she could not get rid of him by ignoring him. For a moment, she was very tempted to take him up on his offer (only to get rid of him of course...), but she decided to be direct.  
  
"Irvine, I'm really busy right now. Can't you go bother Selphie instead?"  
  
He pouted playfully and said, "But, you're the one who's really turnin' me on right now," before grinning widely and shoving his hat back on his head. Quistis gave him a look of disgust before turning back to the computer screen. Irvine, not to be disregarded, got off the bed and stood behind her.  
  
"What are ya doin'?" he asked.  
  
"Writing a letter," Quistis replied dully.  
  
"A love letter?"  
  
"No."  
  
"For me?"  
  
"No."  
  
There was silence broken only by the sound of Quistis typing quickly on the keyboard. Irvine couldn't think of anything to say and Quistis didn't help him. He leaned on her desk beside Quistis. Her eyes flickered quickly towards him quickly before settling again on the computer screen. Irvine took it as his invitation to start up a conversation again.  
  
"Where are ya goin' for dinner? How 'bout-"  
  
"Irvine, please! I'm trying to work," Quistis snapped, cutting the teen off quickly. Irvine looked slightly dejected, but Quistis continued without noticing.  
  
"Okay. I'll see ya later then," he said seriously and left silently taking his wounded ego with him.  
  
Quistis sighed when the door clicked shut and looked at it remorsefully. She actually liked Irvine's company and secretly found his advances flattering. But, she had work to do and couldn't be disturbed to play around.  
  
I never have time to play around, she thought pensively. The feel of fur running across her bare foot cut off her thoughts. Gasping, she pulled back from the desk to look down into the dimwitted eyes of a very large, very disgusting black rat. Quistis' gasp turned into a scream and she deserted the desk to hop up onto her bed, in complete and utter terror. The rat, startled by her scream, scurried further under her desk.  
  
Before she could think of what to do next, the door to Quistis' room flew open and Irvine stood, slightly agitated, and looked around.  
  
"What happened?" he asked, slightly louder than normal.  
  
"Must you always barge in here?" Quistis asked angrily embarrassed at her melodramatic and stereotypical reaction of the rodent that was now cowering a few feet away from her.  
  
"What's wrong?" Irvine asked again, this time, angrily. His concern calmed Quistis for a moment and she relaxed slightly.  
  
"There's a rat in my room."  
  
"A rat?" Irvine repeated.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Where is it?" he asked cautiously. Irvine looked around the floor slowly and started to back out of the room.  
  
"It's under the desk. Can you get it out?" Quistis asked quickly. He wasn't just going to leave her here with it, was he?  
  
Irvine sighed, but there wasn't any way he could leave a lady in distress. He told Quistis this and she stood straighter, her pride finally taking over once she realized she was becoming a helpless victim.  
  
"Are you going to get it out of here or make fun of me?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and turning up her nose. Irvine smiled and shrugged off his tan duster.  
  
"Of course I'll help," he said. He headed over to the desk, holding his jacket in front of him like a net. Glancing under the desk, he could see nothing but blackness. He kicked the desk to scare the rat into moving so he could see it. It ran towards Irvine, who let out a strangled cry and leaped out of the way only to bang his hip against the side of the desk. The rat be-lined for the bed sending hysterics out of Quistis. Irvine motioned for her to calm down.  
  
"Where is it?" she whispered. Irvine pointed under the bed, holding his hip. Quistis looked down at the floor trying to see if it had come out. It was still under there. Irvine limped over to the bed, seeing if he could coax the rat out. He called to it, made some noises, but the rodent didn't want to move. He sighed and moved to the front of the bed and kicked it hard again. Quistis was knocked off her feet and landed hard on the mattress. The rat bolted out again, but Irvine was ready for it. He threw his duster over it and brought up his foot above the lump under his jacket. Quistis screamed sharply as he started to bring his foot down.  
  
"Don't kill it!" she cried.  
  
Surprised by Quistis' scream, Irvine was knocked slightly off balance resulting in his boot narrowly missing the terrified creature.  
  
"What?" he asked the blonde, slightly perplexed. First she wanted the thing gotten rid of and now she wanted to save it? That was a woman for you. Just when Irvine thought he'd had them all figured out, one like her came along.  
  
"Don't kill it," Quistis said again, this time more calmly, as she gingerly stepped off the bed (although still avoiding the small lump under Irvine's jacket). Irvine stared at her dumbfounded.  
  
"I thought ya wanted me ta get rid of the rat?"  
  
"Get rid of, yes, but not kill it," Quistis replied, this time a little sharply.  
  
"Well, like, what am I supposed ta do with it?"  
  
"Well," Quistis started, watching the rat under the coat, "You could set it free outside."  
  
"It'll just prob'ly get killed by a bite bug or somethin'," Irvine argued.  
  
"But at least it'll be out of the building and, more importantly, my room," she shot back.  
  
"How am I supposed ta get it outside?"  
  
"Pick it up," Quistis said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"I'm not pickin' it up!" Irvine's eyes widened and he stepped back slightly.  
  
"Irvine, it's just a rat. I'm sure that Ultimecia was a lot worse," Quistis replied. She raised an eyebrow slightly, hoping that her "Instructor Look" will get his ass in gear.  
  
"Then why don't you set it free."  
  
"You're the one who said you'd help me!"  
  
"But I'm not the one that wants ta take it outside."  
  
"Irvine-" Quistis started to argue, but stopped. While they were talking, the rat had found it's way out from under Irvine's coat and was running towards the open door. Quistis gasped sharply, drawing closer to Irvine (much to his delight) while the rodent ran out the open door and disappeared down the hall. Quistis sighed heavily.  
  
"Now we're going to have to go after it," she said simply.  
  
" 'We'? 'After it'? I didn't think that gettin' rid of a rat was going ta be this involved."  
  
"Irvine, we can't have the thing running around the building," she said logically as she started looking through her drawers for something. Irvine thought he saw a glimpse of a pink bra, but his mind quickly snapped back to reality once the drawer closed.  
  
"I thought ya, like, wanted the thing killed and now we have ta go set it free? And search for it?"  
  
"I never wanted it killed," Quistis said as she pulled a flashlight out from her desk drawer, "Like I said, I just wanted it out of my room."  
  
Irvine sighed, somewhat happily, and shook his head, "You're the same, ya know. I remember at the orphanage that you would never let Matron kill the spiders in the bathtub 'cause you felt sorry for 'em, even though you were deathly afraid of 'em."  
  
Quistis stopped what she was doing and gave him a skeptical look. "You can't possibly remember that. Not since you've been using GFs for the past year and a half. Besides, I was never afraid of spiders. Just rats."  
  
Irvine smiled sadly at her turned back as Quistis tested the two flashlights she'd found. They both let out a somewhat bright, yellow beam of light. She turned back to Irvine and tossed him a flashlight. He caught it easily.  
  
"Let's go." 


	2. Part II

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Final Fantasy VIII. The only thing I own is the plot line for this story.  
  
Author's Note: Here's the second part of the story. I hope you readers like it. Many thanks to Raven Cactuar for being my first reviewer for this story (  
Oh, and does anyone know how to work the html coding for this site? It always screws up when I try. I really need help with that.  
  
Rating: PG-13 for mild language and sexual innuendo.  
  
"The elevator stalled."  
  
"It always stalls when going down to the basement."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"It's pretty dark in here."  
  
"Well, the power went out when the elevator stalled. What do you expect?"  
  
"I'm scared. Hold me."  
  
"Oh, grown up!"  
  
"Please, just for a little bit."  
  
"Irvine, will you get off me!"  
  
"Mmmmmm....I love it when ya play hard to get."  
  
"Get off!"  
  
SMACK  
  
"Oh Hyne! Irvine, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you, I really didn't."  
  
"Ow! That hurt! That was my precious face ya know."  
  
"Well, I couldn't see you. And I told you to get off me twice. I gave you fair warning!"  
  
"That doesn' mean ya have ta take my head off."  
  
"Oh please! I bet it's not that bad."  
  
"Maybe you should kiss it better."  
  
Quistis turned on her flashlight illuminating the pitch-black elevator. She was looking less than pleased at Irvine whom was grinning (big surprise) down at her. She moved his hand from his cheek see how hard she really had hit him. It was barely pink.  
  
"You're so melodramatic," she said shaking her head.  
  
"I was hopin' ta get a kiss out of it."  
  
More grinning.  
  
"Hyne Irvine, you're such a pain in the ass."  
  
"Oh Quistis, I'd love ta be a pain in your ass."  
  
Quistis turned a bright shade of red before glaring at her lanky companion.  
  
"You disgust me," she declared. Irvine feigned hurt. Quistis rolled her eyes and he smiled back. At least she wasn't mad at him anymore.  
  
Quistis and Irvine had searched the main floor at Balamb Garden with no luck. They had almost caused mass hysteria in the library after quietly asking Zell if he'd seen the rodent. Zell had caused more of a scene than Quistis. He screamed "Rat!!" and jumped up onto a chair, causing the rest of the people in the library to get into hysterics and get up off the floor. Luckily, Squall had been able to calm them down, but he warned Quistis and Irvine to be less vocal about their search.  
  
Finally, Quistis suggested that they search the basement and Irvine had hesitantly agreed. Now she almost regretted asking him for help. Sure, he could be flattering, but now he was bordering on annoying. She had to remember the rat and the fact that she would never pick it up in a million years just to keep herself sane. But now that she was stuck in the elevator with Irvine, she was wondering how long she'd be able to hold onto her sanity and not murder him.  
  
"I think there's a trap door around here," Quistis said as she bent down and examined the floor. Realizing her position, she looked at Irvine who was grinning broadly behind her.  
  
"I don't even want to have a hint as to what you are thinking," she said dangerously. Irvine smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. Quistis rose one of hers and went back to looking around at the floor.  
  
Irvine just didn't understand Quistis. He'd tried everything on her (all of his best lines!) and she still wouldn't give him the time of day. All of his jokes never worked - she just took offense to them. He was running out of ideas. He bent down to help her and successfully released the trap door.  
  
"Thanks, " Quistis said smiling at him. He gestured for her to go first and she obliged.  
  
The stepladder was awkward to go down, while holding a flashlight to assure that one didn't miss a step. Irvine tried to lighten up the ordeal.  
  
"I expect a reward after that rat is caught," he said, calling down to Quistis.  
  
"What kind of reward? I doubt I have enough gill to pay you," Quistis answered, oblivious to what he was implying.  
  
"No, not that kind of reward..." he said back.  
  
Quistis sighed. She paused and swung around the ladder to jump onto the landing. Irvine followed.  
  
"You never give up do you?" Quistis questioned one hand on her hip and one on the flashlight. Irvine shrugged.  
  
"I have ta try everythin' to reach one so unattainable," he replied gesturing at Quistis who rolled her eyes, "Like, how can ya resist a guy like yours truly?"  
  
Quistis snorted, "Irvine, guys like you are a dime a dozen." Quistis turned around and started to head down the hallway. Irvine stood behind her, quite confused.  
  
"What's that supposed ta mean?" he called. Quistis didn't answer so he jogged up to her and asked again.  
  
"It means that I've already heard every line in the book from every guy like you," she said, poking him in the chest for emphasis, "Hyne Irvine, I'm a year older than you which means I have that one extra year of experience."  
  
Irvine looked at her skeptically, "You couldn't possibly have heard every line," he said.  
  
Quistis sighed. He was missing the point completely, yet again. How can a guy who claimed to know women like he know the back of his hand miss all of her hints, "That's not even my point. The point is that I know exactly what you want."  
  
"And what is that?" Irvine countered.  
  
"Just another good time," Quistis said. She couldn't help but smile a little.  
  
"Well..." Irvine said, staring off into space. He didn't deny anything.  
  
"Yeah that's what I thought," Quistis said. She couldn't help smiling, not with Irvine so concentrated on trying to come up with a line to deny her accusation.  
  
"Quistis, I think you're my soul mate," he replied catching up with her as she walked away.  
  
"I thought Selphie was your soul mate? I seem to recall a certain conversation you had with her on a train just over a year ago..." Quistis trailed off.  
  
"Well...like, that was before. But she gets all hyper and shit; it really tires me out. Plus, she does this weird thing when we're-"  
  
"I really don't want you to finish the rest of that sentence," Quistis warned him. Irvine smiled, but she didn't notice. She was busy trying to open another trap door that, no doubt, led farther into the basement.  
  
"Hyne, how many levels does this place have?" he complained. Quistis opened the hatch before she answered.  
  
"A few more,"  
  
'Well, if ya don' mind me askin', but, like, how does a rat make it's way through trap doors and stepladders?"  
  
Quistis paused for a minute, "Did you see it upstairs?"  
  
"No?"  
  
"Have you seen the rat so far?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then it has to be farther down," she replied and jumped through the hatch. Irvine followed without question, for once.  
  
"You're so determined," he said.  
  
"SeeD at fifteen, instructor at seventeen - I think I'd have to be," she replied, smiling slightly. The pair continued through the tunnel, Irvine stooping slightly because of his height. They turned off their flashlight since there was enough light now and Quistis' had died out anyway.  
  
The short passageway opened up into another landing. It was significantly darker where the landing was than in the tunnel and Irvine, who was leading, didn't see where it ended. He tottered at the edge until Quistis saw him and pulled him back, saving him from a dangerous fall. She didn't, however, manage to rescue the flashlight as it slipped from Irvine's grasp and smashed on the ground below. Quistis tossed her useless flashlight to the side.  
  
"Sorry 'bout that," Irvine apologized. Quistis shrugged.  
  
"I'm sure that I can get another one from Squall."  
  
"Where to now?"  
  
Quistis pointed to the stepladder.  
  
"Is there no end to this basement?! Are we doomed ta keep goin' further and further down until.we die?"  
  
Quistis laughed, "I'm sure that there is a bottom to it and when we finally reach it, that's where that damned rat will be."  
  
Quistis started down the ladder and after a heavy sigh, Irvine followed, closely behind her. There wasn't much lighting down this opening and the stepladder was slightly wet from moisture. Irvine's boot slipped on one of the rungs, catching Quistis on her cheek. Surprised from being hit in the face, Quistis let go of the ladder and started to fall. She grabbed at the edge of Irvine's duster to try and catch her self, but Irvine was already off balance from missing a step. As a result, the two fell the rest of the way down, Quistis landing on the metal floor on her back and Irvine landing on top of her, face forward.  
  
"Uh, Irvine."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you think you could move your hand?"  
  
Irvine glanced down, realizing he'd put his hand on Quistis' chest so he wouldn't land with all his weight on her.  
  
"Oops."  
  
"Yeah really."  
  
"No, seriously. I would have asked for permission first before puttin' my hand on any of your assets. So may I?"  
  
"Never in a trillion years," Quistis snapped. She started to move from underneath him, but he had her pinned, "Do you mind letting me up?" she asked, knowing exactly what his answer would be.  
  
"Hmm, I dunno. I kind of like this position." He pressed his cheek to hers and playfully bit her ear.  
  
"Irvine get off me!" Quistis pushed his shoulders as an attempt to get him off, but he was lying with his full weight on her and he had pinned her legs down so she couldn't kick. She gave up struggling and turned to face him, their noses pressed together. They lay in silence. Quistis gave up the urge to get Irvine off and for once, Irvine didn't say anything. He leaned in closer and gently brushed her lips with his own. Quistis responded by pressing her lips to his.  
  
She was the first to pull away. Irvine pulled back himself to look at her face which was plastered with a look of absolute horror. He didn't think the kiss was that bad. Bad breath maybe?  
  
She finally spoke, "Uh, Irvine?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Now, don't get excited. Um...the rat...it's...it's on your shoulder."  
  
The look on Irvine's face would have been comical had they been in a different situation. He jumped off Quistis faster than she thought was humanly possible and slapped at his shoulder to get the thing off him. Quistis got up to help him, but he nearly took her head off from his flailing arms. Irvine tore off his tan duster and threw it to the ground. The rat ran away into the nearest room.  
  
Irvine shivered and rubbed himself to get the feeling of the rat off of him. Quistis ignored him and followed the rat. Irvine didn't follow her. He picked his jacket up off the floors and started shaking it clean.  
  
"There is no way in hell that I am picking that thing up," he declared, making sure that he was firm on the matter. He was never going to let any small rodent-like creatures near him ever again.  
  
"You don't have to," Quistis called back.  
  
Um, what? She was going to pick it up? Not likely. Couldn't this girl make up her mind about issues? Irvine went into the room where the rat was. Quistis was crouched in from of a very old, very rusty control panel.  
  
"Come here," she said when she noticed him. Irvine shook his head. Quistis got up and led him by the hand to where she was before, "Look," she said pointing.  
  
There, nestled in the far corner was the rat...and about a dozen smaller ones were cuddling against her.  
  
"How sweet," Irvine replied, "Can we go now?"  
  
Quistis laughed, "Yeah I suppose. Just as long as those little rodents stay away from my room, things will be fine."  
  
Irvine hardly heard her. He left the room in a hurry before she finished.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"You know Irvine, I think you're more afraid of rats than I am now," Quistis joked, walking down the hall.  
  
"I'm not afraid," Irvine retorted, "I'm just wary."  
  
"Sure, sure," Quistis teased him.  
  
"So when are ya going ta give you my reward for helpin' you?" Irvine asked.  
  
"Well, you didn't really help me. It was more like complaining and hitting on me. Oh, and you did run away from the rat when we finally found it." Quistis trailed off, her finger pressed against her closed lips. Irvine had no reply to make. He just grinned sheepishly and blushed softly. Quistis continued, glad that it was her making him uncomfortable for once, "And besides, I already gave you a kiss, isn't the reward enough?"  
  
"You call that a reward? That was like kissin' Matron!" Irvine shot back. He shivered for effect. Now he was on top again.  
  
"What?! It-it wasn't like that at all!" Quistis stopped to glare at him.  
  
"Well, I could be wrong. But, I don' have anythin' ta compare it ta, so." Irvine paused, loving the look she was giving him.  
  
"Is that what all this was about? You helping me in the hopes that I will 'reward' you for you chivalry?"  
  
Irvine shrugged. He wasn't a liar (usually), so there wasn't anyway that he could deny it without being far from the truth.  
  
"Fine, if that's the way you play. I'll meet you in your room at eight."  
  
And with that, Quistis stalked off down the hall, her head held high.  
  
The end. 


End file.
